Archive for blogging

A Quick Word

Posted in real life with tags , , on May 14, 2017 by sethdellinger

Hey folks!  It’s been a long time since I posted an entry, and this coming right after I had a bit of a blog revival going on.  I just wanted to pop on real quick and let you know the blog revival is most assuredly still happening!  I currently have about a dozen entries percolating in me ol’ cranium–from the highbrow to the simple life-update variety–but, as many of you may know, it’s been a hectic time the past month, with lots of changes and whatnot (all good) in many facets of my life.  While I am adjusting (to new house, new commute, new town, new job) writing/ artistic time has taken a back seat to simply existing and figuring things out.  Again, these changes are all good (or at the very least, neutral), but I wanted to explain my silence.  I’ll be back very soon!

Eleventh Sobriety Anniversary

Posted in Memoir with tags , , , on March 30, 2014 by sethdellinger

Thursday, April 3rd is my 11th sobriety anniversary.  Those of you who’ve read much of my blog or really anything of mine at all, know that I have written at length on my alcoholism, sobriety and recovery.  Probably more than any other personal subject I’ve written about.  Hey, can you blame me? It’s interesting. 

Anyway, I usually have some fancy blog written up for the occasion, but I may finally be out of good “anniversary” blogs—maybe until another major milestone year (although I’m sure I’ll still randomly write about the topic, despite the fact that I’ve now been sober more than twice as long as I drank…it’s still a damn interesting topic).  But I did want to take this opportunity to link those who may have missed them to last year’s anniversary entries; it was a two-parter in which I recounted, for the first time, the days surrounding April 3rd, 2003—the day I got and stayed sober.  Part one can be read by clicking here, and part two can be read by clicking here.

If you find these entries to be just captivating reading, I encourage you to click on some of the links in my “tag cloud” to the right of your screen—these will take you to all entries that I have “tagged” with that topic.  You can see there are tags for “addiction”, “alcoholism”, and “recovery”, but in addition, lots of other topics!  If, in the unlikely event you love the band Seven Mary Three, well, clicking on that tag for 7m3 is a no-brainer!  Also you can use the search bar right below that delightful picture of me to search every single entry—there are A LOT of them—for anything; for instance, if you’re wondering if I’ve ever mentioned you, search your name!

Anyway, I like being sober, it’s tons of fun :)

The Light From Everywhere

Posted in Memoir, Prose with tags , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2014 by sethdellinger

A long time ago, what must be over 10 years ago now, I was a man just recovering from alcoholism—a long bout of sickness— and the first few weeks and months were filled with a special kind of freedom.  But aside from all the weighty big topics that came up in such a time, I also was just able to start discovering the internet. It had been there during my drinking but it wasn’t something I had much interest in or capacity to utilize. My very first blog was on some sort of AOL blogging community.  I loved everything about it. I loved that I could write was on my mind, and write whatever I wanted to say, however I wanted to say it, and some people would actually read it! This is back before everyone was doing it (and way before everybody stopped doing it!) But of course, basically still nobody was reading. Anyway, one of the first entries I ever wrote was called “The light from everywhere, the light from nowhere”. It had just snowed the first snow of the year, which must have been 2004. I was in love with a woman at that point in time who was a pain in the ass, but I was in love with her anyway. That night, as the snow was coming down, I drove her home to where she lived on the side of a mountain, and in the cold snowy wind, we shared a kiss on her doorstep. I wrote a lovely blog entry about it on that AOL website, which has long since been erased by the great internet gods. I wish I could remember most of it, or  that I had saved it somewhere, because I know even now it was a doozy.  I talked about that ambient light which those of us who live in wintry states are very familiar with, which seems to slowly take over the nighttime in the first few hours after a snowfall, seemingly coming from nowhere and everywhere all at once.  And then I made an analogy between this light, which I had just seen that night for the first time in my sobriety, and the slow sneaky way that love overtakes a person. It was a really great piece of writing. Well, I am a 10 years older old fart now, and a little more cynical. Still happy as a clam, but I kind of hate snow, and I don’t plan on falling in love anytime soon. I often think of that blog entry when I see the light from everywhere. Tonight, as a big nor’easter blew into Philadelphia, I had already done all the outside things I needed to do for the day, and was just planning on settling in for the night, putting on my sweatpants and maybe putting in my DVD of “Picnic at Hanging Rock”, and eating some rice and drinking some diet soda. But as I got up to go to the bathroom and walked past the front door, I saw the light from everywhere and the light from nowhere, and I was drawn outside. I can’t re-create for you the magic of that first blog entry 10 years ago, but I did take some video, and I was feeling pretty good about the world:

Get Out of the Kitchen

Posted in Prose, Rant/ Rave with tags , , , , on June 29, 2013 by sethdellinger

In the few years since I’ve begun riding a bike for pleasure, I have found a curious thing to hold true: if you want to experience deafening, post-apocalypse-like solitude, there is no place quite like small town or suburban streets in the middle of summer.

Let me state this again: when it gets hot out, the streets of your local neighborhood are always empty.  Eerily so.

OK so, people don’t like the heat, so what?  That’s certainly fine with me.  Go wherever you want and like whatever you want; I’m always glad everyone doesn’t like the same stuff I like (you’d all be making me wait in line for shit)!  But as I was riding my bike around a sweltering small town today, glorying in the sweat on the inside of my cap and the buzzing of relentless insects and the lively way sound has of travelling through active, hot air, I couldn’t help but ponder the many conversations I’ve had with people about their aversion to heat.

I’m pretty into summer, and most people aren’t, so I’ve had lots of these conversations.

Very close to 100% of people give a form of this argument for an anti-summer stance:

At least in the winter, you can go somewhere and warm up, maybe throw a blanket over yourself.  In the summer, sometimes you just get real hot and there’s nothing you can do about it. Give me a blanket any day!

What a load of steaming bullshit.  It is certainly possible that you think that way, and if so, may I suggest that you’re a wanker?  You mean to tell me the foremost thing you base your human happiness on is your level of physical comfort in relation to the atmospheric temperature?  How dreadfully boring, how devoid of active thought or action, how painfully insipid of a way to think about your life.  So, more than anything, you just want to be comfortable, eh?

You know, in many instances, comfort is a synonym for complacency.  That means not giving a shit.

(I have a few readers in parts of the world that are not “four season” areas; this rant applies very little to them)

Curling up under a blanket, while certainly a nice escape from the death season which is Winter, is certainly no valid recompense for losing the ability to partake in just about any meaningful outdoor activity (please, if you’re contemplating commenting about snowboarding, making snowmen, snowball fights, etc, please read this old entry of mine, and then take a flying leap).  It is inherent in the very reasons you give for liking “cold over hot” that these activities revolve around escaping from life, withdrawing from action, focusing on comfort and the absence of the cold from your living room, rather than anything that is celebratory, life-affirming, or satisfying of your human curiosity.

I reject your argument about blankets, fireplaces, and Christmas.  It is invalid.  You don’t like cold more than you like heat.  You like comfort more than you like living.

Hot Dog Soup

Posted in Rant/ Rave with tags , , , on June 16, 2013 by sethdellinger

About once a month, somebody “accuses” me of having an “opinion about everything”.  Some people actually find this to be a negative trait!  While I suppose having constant opinions coming out of one’s mouth might, over time, seem “negative” or “cynical”, what is the opposite?!  Certainly not “optimistic”, it’s just…unopinionated, which I can’t imagine is very different than uneducated.  Or at the very least, uninterested or lacking any substantial level of curiosity about the world around you.  And to me, a lack of curiosity is just about as unattractive of a personality trait as you can have.

“The blog”, as a general phenomenon is sadly going the way of the dodo.  The lion’s share of the content on the internet is now filtered through three or four different social network sites, with instant sharing, commenting, “liking”, where all the people you know are already congregated.  Taking the time to create and maintain your own blog, and then trying to convince everyone to leave the comforts of the social networking site to actually read your blog, is now more trouble than it’s worth for most people.  Myself included.  My blog output has been pathetic for over a year now.  But that might be partially because when I drop a blog bomb on you, like this or this, it goes largely unnoticed and uncommented on.  You people don’t deserve my blog.  Regardless, I mourn the end of the blog era, when, briefly, a bunch of everyday folks fancied themselves writers.  It was fun.  Now we’re all just statusers.

I’m scared by how fast technology is evolving.  I know, I know: what a very typical thing to say.  Everyone who has tons of opinions has that opinion.  But do you know about Moore’s law? If not, you should click on that link and read that article.  Moore’s Law is not a theory anymore; this is how the world is working now, and it is truly ghastly imagining what things will be like even five years from now.  Microchips in our brains is not a joke anymore.  I dare say it is something that will be happening soon.  And hey, look, I’m not afraid of change.  I’m afraid of change happening faster than we can adapt to it or control it.  There were thousands of years from when we invented the wheel to when we came up with the car.  It’s been 80 years since we invented television, and now we’re about to control them by waving our hands in the air.  And that progress is only going to keep speeding up, according to Moore’s Law.

I’d eat Hot Dog Soup, if it existed.

Posted in Snippet with tags , , , on January 16, 2012 by sethdellinger

Here’s my buddy Kyle’s top ten movies of 2011 list.  Click or…I don’t know.  Something bad will happen to you.  Ever seen “The Monkey’s Paw”?  Yeah, bad shit like that.

The Final Note

Posted in Snippet, Uncategorized with tags , , on May 23, 2011 by sethdellinger

Summer has finally, at long, long last come to Erie, and a happier man, I could not be.  As everyone knows, heat is my wheelhouse.  I feel alive, caffeinated, abuzz with ideas, inspiration, energy and hormones.  The world is absolutely mine.

Summer has always been my most creative season.  I realize I’m not an “artist” of any stripe, per se.  An amateur creative writer would best describe me, I suppose, although I like to think I simply live a creative life, from doodling while I watch TV to giving people nicknames.  I’ve come to a point in my life where I’m perfectly content with the fact that I will never be famous for any of the creative arts (I’m simply not good enough at anything), but I like to keep doing things anyway, because a body’s got to do something with all this time, no?

For just about as long as I can remember, I have taken great joy in the act of creation, from words to drawings (bad as they may be) to short films and photography.  I remember in my teens, I spent almost a whole year simply putting words together by twos, on reams and reams of white lined notebook paper (for instance, copper elephant, democratic pants, shoeshine sunrise, garden car, and on and on, thousands of them).  I did this for no other reason than it brought me joy.  I have dozens of other examples like this from my life.

Which brings me to my point.  Despite numerous attempts to deny it to myself, Notes From the Fire is not only no longer bringing me joy, but I believe it to be sapping my creative energies.  I no longer write anything for fun and excitement, but instead to get “views” on my blog.  I no longer write what I most intensely want to write about, but what is “safe” enough for the blog, but “personal” enough to maintain it’s tone.  I also have made myself feel compelled to post with a certain frequency, thereby often resulting in diminished quality and repititious horseshit.  I know that all these problems are simply results of my own mindset regarding The Notes, but I have tried repeatedly to change this mindset, to no avail.  In short, the blog rules me mentally and is crushing me creatively.

I need some time to once again find what it’s like to write for oneself, or for a future audience—and not for immediate consumption.  In addition, I’m feeling my creative juices pulling me in interesting ways, away from simply the written word and into visual arts.  Right now, I really feel like taking some pictures with actual film, having them developed, and collaging them…some sort of themed collage, perhaps.  That sounds fun.  Maybe I’ll do it in my attic and even throw paint at it or something.  But I’m going to do it for myself and nobody’s going to see it, at least not for awhile (and it will probably be no good anyway, but I’ll have a ton of fun doing it).

Don’t worry, I’m not taking The Notes down.  This website will always be here.  Feel free to peruse old entries; I’ll still reply to comments you make on them.  Also, you can always check out my Netflix queue on here.  :)

Something tells me I’ll be back sooner than I imagine, but on a different site and perhaps in a different format.  Or the break will do me wonders and I’ll be back at The Notes sometime.  Who knows?  There are no rules, and now that it’s summer, I’m going to be proving that as much as possible.  For instance, right now it’s 4am, I haven’t slept yet, and as soon as the sun comes up, I’m going to ride my bike all over this town and take lovely pictures all damn day, because I can.

However, you won’t see them on Notes From the Fire.

Don’t worry though, they’ll still be on Facebook.  I haven’t lost my mind!

Thanks to all of you for reading and making Notes From the Fire a lovely, rewarding experience for me!

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