Remember Me as a Time of Day

and when you are driving with the windows all all all the way up due to your constant state of coldness, think of me, and how hot I always became, never complaining except for when i did complain, finally.  and when you are looking for a designated outfielder in a game of baseball (played with a tennis ball), think of me and the time I made a stretching arching diving catch in my front yard that was absolute perfection in the glinting sun for a mere moment and only seen by five people.  and when you see those streaks in the sky made from airplanes we could never remember the word for—contrails, it turns out—think of me and the deep, inviting palette of kindest blue behind the lines as us, the kind of us that lasts forever, the kind of us people wave at as we walk past arm in arm, the kind of us that spoons on couches.  and when you hear a man snoring inside his house while you are on the sidewalk outside his house—as happened to us once on a street in Williamsport—think of me, and the kind way we had of making fun of people without judging too much, or resorting to name-calling, or tarnishing our perfection with hateful talk.  and when you see a child trying so hard to cross the street on a skateboard that is too big for him, in weather that is not for skateboarding, remember me, and how we helped him and he looked at us with his chocolate eyes and was so thankful.  think of me then.  and when you look back on your life and think of your friends, remember the way our laughs combined to form a new, third kind of laugh that only we could create—a kind of mega-laugh, and the way it echoed everywhere off everything, as we echo still on a college campus and inside terrible, downtrodden cars.   and when you remember me, please remember me as the bead of tiniest sweat on my brow, hovering, quivering, ready to fall onto your face below mine.  and when you remember me, please remember me as the smell of the charter bus we took to Virginia Beach—minty, medicinal, and somehow miraculous; the scent of organized group travel and somehow love, too.  and when you remember me, remember me as the crunch of leaves under our shoes as we walked together that first night, our autumn kiss soon to come, and alleverywhere the leaves swirling at our feet all goldbrownred.  remember me as the hint of sun above the cedars a few hours later, remember me as the sweltering summer noon we lost at frisbee golf,  remember me as the clicking change of a traffic light, remember me as a warm spot in the lake, remember me as the air so cold you could barely breathe,  remember me as something fast and wildly out of control, remember me as the clanging of a bell, remember me as a time of day.

 

19 Responses to “Remember Me as a Time of Day”

  1. wow deep

  2. sethdellinger Says:

    Song credits in the video, in the order they appear:

    “Intro” by the xx
    “Glass Realms” by This Will Destroy You
    “Time” by Hans Zimmer

  3. Kyle Sundgren Says:

    There’s this story in the Jazz world where some unknown sax player threw his sax in the river after he saw Charlie Parker perform live. Right now I feel like I should throw my keyboard and camcorder in the river.

    As I was reading this I was just blown away. I had made up my mind that this was going to be declared my favorite post of yours that I’ve read. I had no idea there was a video included until I got to the end. I saw the video and the length and assumed it was just a movement to some classical piece. You absolutely blew me away with that video. Like, instantly too as soon as I figured out that was you in the wrestling get-up paired with the music and the low picture quality, it’s just fucking…wow.

    I saw your plea on Facebook to encourage infrequent and first time readers to check this out, but I think you under-pitched this. I know you’re a modest guy, but if you bought a billboard with the link to this on there I wouldn’t think you were an ass in the least. Run with this one.

    • sethdellinger Says:

      Thanks dude!!! I seriously had an inkling all day that I might have a blog masterpiece on my hands. That’s part of why I was so “manic” when I posted on your blog earlier. I’d been working on this all day and the video was uploading and I just kind of knew I might have a “best ever” going on. Thanks for reinforcing that for me!

      I’ll be advertising it on FB again tomorrow, maybe I’ll be more forceful the next time!

  4. I am speechless. This is so awesome!!!

  5. I love it… though it really felt like I was reading and watching about someone who is no longer with us and made me want to cry. The music and way that you pieced the video together is awesome. You pulled the whole thing together beautifully…. the child you used to be, the boy I used to know and the amazing man that you’ve become… you succeed in expressing yourself in ways that most of us never will. Thank you for sharing with us :)

    • I agree wtih Mandy in that I felt like you had died and I was very deeply moved and crying while watching. Extremely well done. THAT is what I’ll play at your funeral, which better not be for AWHILE.

      • sethdellinger Says:

        Thanks you two! But don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere anytime soon (at least not willingly…if I get hit by a bus today don’t call me a liar!). Although I will say, I am glad it made you feel that way. While watching it, I too get very sad and emotional, and it’s nice to know when something you create evokes the same emotions in others as it does in yourself.

  6. I just finished the video. Wow, it blew me away. I couldn’t move an inch while watching. Kudos to you!!

  7. Like everyone else, I am totally blown away. How do you even get the idea for a blog like this????

    • sethdellinger Says:

      Thanks!

      The whole idea—from the words to the use of the photobooth pictures to the general idea of the video—came to me all at once, as I was making the photobooth picture of Mary and I (the bottom right one, black and white, blonde woman) my profile pic on FB. Who kows how the idea came? I think for a millisecond it was “Oh, I have a bunch of these, I should blog them in some fashion”, then the next millisecond it was the chunk of language “remember me as a time of day”, and the next millisecond, it was all there. The human brain is weird.

      • The clips of you at a party are strange to see, now.

        • sethdellinger Says:

          Yeah, they’re meant to be a little jarring, to those who are familiar with my story. I suppose of you just surfed on in, they wouldn’t affect you quite as well.

          I’ve had that video in my back pocket for quite some time, waiting until I had a good reason to use it. I actually chose some of the most tame moments in it. Notice you never actually see me drink. For me, the most dramatic moment in the video is when I let you see me take the beer out of my friend’s hand.

  8. Anonymous Says:

    Wow, this was really awesome!

  9. Kyle’s urging on FB is what brought me here and am I so grateful it did. This was really amazing. I’m only disappointed I read and watched this at work and couldn’t allow my full range of emotions to truly come through. Keep a close eye on these words, I can see a beautiful song and/or movie coming from them.

    • sethdellinger Says:

      Thanks so much for reading and enjoying it! I’m very glad it affected you in the same way these thoughts have affected me. Visit again when you’re not at work!

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