I Can’t Quit

When I quit drinking, I substituted caffeine for alcohol.  That wasn’t quite enough so I substituted buying Pearl Jam bootlegs for alcohol, as well.  And then I subsituted working extra hours for alcohol, as well.  And then I ran out of Pearl Jam bootlegs to buy so I substituted DVDs for Pearl Jam bootlegs.  And things still weren’t enough so I substituted sex for alcohol.  And then I tried to quit caffeine so I substituted lifting weights for caffeine.  But I still wanted alcohol so I substituted going to concerts for alcohol.  And I got tired of lifting weights so I substituted hiking for that.  And then I got re-addicted to caffeine.  And then I was having too much sex so I substituted eating for sex.  And then concerts were getting too expensive so I substituted going to the movies for concerts.  And then it was winter so I couldn’t hike so I substituted more eating for that.  And then I tried to quit caffeine again so I substituted going to concerts for that.  And then it was spring so I substituted hiking for going to concerts.  And then I got addicted to caffeine again.  And then I quit smoking and I substituted eating for that.  And then I was eating too much so I substituted working out for that.  But I did too much too fast so I had to substitute even more caffeine for working out.  And then I started eating again.  And I’m still buying a ton of DVDs.  I can’t quit.

7 Responses to “I Can’t Quit”

  1. We all have our substitutes. Hopefully, we keep substituting things that are healty. or at least not as bad as what we were doing before. I think you are on a great track.

    • sethdellinger Says:

      Why thank you Daddio. It’s just kind of funny how if you think about it, there’s always a hole there to fill. It’s not necessarily a bad thing—it doesn’t make me sad—it’s just curious. It gives me stuff to do, at any rate.

  2. Very interesting

  3. Kyle Sundgren Says:

    See I got a Meat Loaf song that is perfect for this blog. I think you should quit being a hater and substitute it with being a Loafer.

  4. Nice. I am, of course in the same boat. I am at the stage of substituting something for nothing. Or is it nothing for something. Grin.

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