Ten Mini-Memoirs: High School

1.  I only got in any real kind of trouble one time.  I got detention for saying the F word at lunch.  To this day, however, it still mystifies me.  It was given to me by my favaorite teacher, who also really loved me (we’d ran into each other at the mall once and walked around together for awhile; he was a younger guy and in reality was pretty close to our age.) and who hung around our lunch table most days.  We had said some truly horrific things in front of this man before!  Then one day, I drop the F bomb like always, and he comes up to me all furious and writes me a detention slip.  He looked like he hated me!

2.  I wrote for my high school newspaper, The Spectrum.  My first day on the paper, we were all assigned “beats”—parts of the school we were responsible for covering.  I remember, I got mainly crappy ones that weren’t anywhere near my own interests.  But the marvelous thing was that most days, during newspaper class, we had a free pass to just walk around school wherever we wanted.  We had a “newspaper” pass that allowed us to do just about anything.  My first day on the paper, I decided to get what I considered to be my most boring beat out of the way—the FFA (Future Farmers of America); they inhabited their own little wing of the school, way out by the “shop” classrooms, a wing of the school I only entered with my mother when I was a little boy, when I accompnied her to vote, as for a brief time, the polling place was in the shop class.  So, I cautiously arrived in the FFA classroom and soon found myself talking to a kid who must have been their star student.  Over the next few years, this guy would actually be my go-to guy for stories; they were always boring, but they always had something going on!  But all I can remember from that first encounter is how he had the world’s largest booger hanging out his nose.  I mean, it was huge

3.  My friend Tasha and I had a hit on our hands.  Our English class was studying Julius Caesar, and we had been given the task of acting out the famous death scene.  And we really knocked it out of the park, with real acting, props, and me (playing Caesar to her Brutus) doing a pretty convincing fall from a chair as I died.  Sure, it was just a little play-acting in front of a class of 25 kids, but Tasha and I still reminisce about our glory day, our shining moment of Julius Caesar.

4.  It’s kind of ridiculous how early you have to wake up for high school. 

5.  I was driving to school, and my girlfriend at the time was in the passenger seat.  We got to the top of the hill, where I had to make a left turn into the parking lot.  At that time of morning, the sun was in my eyes to such a degree, I literally could not see if anyone was coming.  So I placed a bet and turned.  Everything seemed fine, until I was almost in my spot and I looked in the rearviewmirror.  A huge pickup truck was following me so close, it was like it was attached to my car.  I figured out right away that I must have really come close to getting in an accident with this truck when I turned.  I parked, watching the rearview closely.  Out hopped one of the more “famous” super-dooper “rednecks” of the school.  Like, this kid and I could not have been more different.  It is not exaggerating to say that we almost spoke different languages.  He ran up to my window and beat on it furiously.  I rolled it down slowly, putting on my best tough-ass face (which isn’t that convincing, but I did leave my burning cigarette in my mouth for effect) and this kid let loose such a string of threats and expletives, in the most threatening tone, I almost crapped my pants.  But, my girlfriend being in the car, I kept my cool, and just stared at this kid through the cigarette smoke .  When he was done, I wordlessly rolled the window back up.  The kid would continue to threaten and frighten me the remaining two years of high school.

6.  One year, I had a routine at my lunch table where I ate a honey bun as though I were performing cunnilingus on it.  An unfortunate adolescent routine that everyone remembers.  There are still certain people, when I run into them every three years, they say “Hold on, let me go get a honey bun!”  Ah, youth’s folly!

7.  One of my favorite things ever was staying after school to watch my girlfriend’s cheerleading practice.  I’d sit high in our football stadium’s bleachers, all by myself, on warm autumn afternoons, and know that everyone on the cheerleading squad thought I was just being the world’s most thoughtful, doting boyfriend, but of course I was watching all of them quite keenly.  I had a cheerleading show all to myself!

8.  I was a wrestler for two years in high school.  I was not any good, but that was to be expected; wrestling isn’t something you typically pick up at the age of 16.  But I did it anyway.  And even though I was crummy, I did win a few JV matches (even getting a few pins), and let me tell you, there is little feeling in this world as good as walking back to your home school locker room after pinning another human being, and finding yourself all alone in the locker room, and peeling off your singlet, and showering in silence, then sitting on the locker room bench and eating a candy bar you had brought along for just this unlikely moment, the world for once matching up with your daydreams.

9.  I had three best friends in high school.  Together, we called ourselves the Quadre.  In retrospect, it is very interesting that we were all completely different–four totally different high school archetypes, yet somehow we came together and formed a merry band.  And then we disintegrated almost immediately following high school.  Isn’t this such a sad thing that happens to us all?  If you got all four of us in a room now, it would be the most awkward meeting ever.  I do miss them, though, or the versions of us that we were.

10.  There was a kid, who I didn’t know, who everyone in school knew would freak out if you called him a certain nickname, which I am not going to type here.  One day, I (for reasons long forgotten) found myself totally alone in a classroom.  I was gazing out the windows when I saw this kid walking alongside the building, heading toward one of the entrances.  It was almost summer, so the windows were open.  So on a whim, I put my head up to a window and yelled the offending nickname, then I quickly ducked down below the window and hid.  Moments later, I heard his voice directly above my head.  “Who was that?!  You think that’s funny? I will come in there and beat your ass!”  His dis-embodied rant went on and on, just feet away from me, but unable to see me.  I was cowardly.  I remember feeling bad, too.  You could tell in his voice that the nickname didn’t just anger him, it hurt him.  I may have been a typical teenager asshole, but I never liked hurting people.  When he stopped yelling, I ran out of the room for fear he would remember which room it was and come inside then to find me.

18 Responses to “Ten Mini-Memoirs: High School”

  1. sethdellinger Says:

    So, the quality of the Ten Mini Memoirs has flagged since I gave myself a deadline to write one each week. Just like any time I force myself to write something for the blog, rather than just wait until it’s ready in my head, it is not nearly as good when forced. So this will be the last “scheduled” ten minis. I apologize for the lagging quality. :(

    • I still enjoyed it very much! Not everything has to be deep, intense material to be enjoyable, or to be worth writing. Enjoyable entry, I say.

      • sethdellinger Says:

        Why thank you sir, although I’m pretty sure it’s weak sauce. At the very least, it was not a lot of fun for me and felt like work, which always hurts quality. Part of the problem, I think, was not just the deadlines, but the restriction of the themes; some of the good stories I thought about for High School, I was afraid to use, anticipating that I would use them later in more apt themes like “women” or “alcoholism”. I agonized for three days over which stories to use, and I must admit, I’m not alotgether happy with the stories I went with. Also, one of these days I’m going to reveal your true identity. For the record everybody, I don’t know anybody named Franklin (Or “Tender B.”, as another one of my friends calls himself…you guys’ aliases are hilarious)

      • Reveal my true identity and I shall never comment again! Muah-ha-ha!!

  2. I enjoyed reading this too, but I see your point. I would much rather wait for my muse than force something and be unsatisfied with what I consider to be sub-par work. Just the thought of it makes my skin crawl a bit.

    Still, you could just post them as they come to you. I guess that’s one nice thing about doing mini-memiors in a blog. Dammit, I need a blog!

    • sethdellinger Says:

      Oh yes, fear not, dearest Muse, I shall continue with the mini-memoirs, but just as they happen. Also, my brain is chug-a-lugging trying to find a way to do another of the “interweaved” posts you like so much. :)

  3. i liked them very much! Felt like i was back in school.

  4. Nice post. Your Cesar reminded me of the same thing (only we did Romeo and Juliet). I will still occasionally yell “You have made worm’s meat of me.”

  5. Kyle Sundgren Says:

    You’re right, this is bullshit.

  6. Kyle Sundgren Says:

    I MAKE JOKE! I enjoyed this one too.

  7. Thanks again for the post and the tiny tidbits into the true Seth Dellinger.

  8. Since I got my new email, I was not notified about your most recent posts. I like this one, because I didnt know most of it. Quite amusing.

    • sethdellinger Says:

      Glad to see you subscribed with the new e-mail Momma! I guess most of these stories would be new to you! I want to hear YOUR high school stories!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: