Archive for September, 2009

Protected: Ask me the password. Maybe I tell you, maybe I don’t.

Posted in Uncategorized on September 30, 2009 by sethdellinger

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3 most recent Pearl Jam setlists

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on September 30, 2009 by sethdellinger

Note: to the best of my knowledge, the Vancouver show is the only time “In My Tree” has ever been the opener.

September 28, 2009 Salt Lake City, UT, E Center

Set List: Of The Girl, Breakerfall, Hail Hail, Severed Hand, The Fixer, Low Light, Marker In The Sand, Even Flow, Unthought Known, Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, Got Some, Given To Fly, Immortality, Satan’s Bed, Amongst The Waves, Do The Evolution, Blood

1st encore: Bee Girl, (Fan brought on stage for wedding proposal), Just Breathe, Red Mosquito w/Ben Harper, Daughter, Supersonic, Spin The Black Circle

2nd encore: I Believe In Miracles, Crazy Mary, Alive, Yellow Ledbetter

September 26, 2009 Clark County Ampitheater, Portland, OR

Set List: Gonna See My Friend, Last Exit, Why Go, The Fixer, In Hiding, Johnny Guitar, Green Disease, Amongst The Waves, Even Flow, Off He Goes, Unthought Known, Daughter, Supersonic, Present Tense, Got Some, Once, Life Wasted

1st encore: Golden State w/Corin Tucker, The End, Red Mosquito w/Ben Harper, Inside Job, Go

2nd encore: Do The Evolution, Not For You /(Modern Girl), Black, Porch
Yellow Ledbetter/(Star Spangled Banner)

September 25, 2009 Vancouver, BC, GM Place

Set List: In My Tree, Save You, The Fixer, Severed Hand, Johnny Guitar, Given To Fly, MFC, Even Flow, Amongst The Waves, Sad, Unthought Known, Light Years, Elderly Woman Behind The Counter In A Small Town, Grievance, No Way, Got Some, Rearviewmirror

1st encore: I Got Shit, Love, Reign O’er Me, Breath, State Of Love And Trust, Alive

2nd encore: Last Kiss, Indifference w/ Ben Harper, Wasted Reprise, Better Man/(Save It For Later), Yellow Ledbetter

Tour stats:

Openers:

Why Go (3)
Long Road (3)
Sometimes (2)
Of the Girl (2)
Small Town (1)
Release (1)
Hard to Imagine (1)
Gonna See My Friend (1)
In My Tree (1)

Main Set Closers:

Do the Evolution (2)
Alive (2)
Go (2)
Rearviewmirror (2)
Life Wasted (2)
Blood (2)
Got Some (1)
Blood (1)
Spin the Black Circle (1)
MFC (1)

Closers:

Yellow Ledbetter (10)
Indifference (1)
Rockin’ in the Free World (2)
Fuckin’ Up (1)
Alive (1)

Song Counts:

Got Some (15)
The Fixer (15)
Even Flow (14)
Alive (13)
Do The Evolution (13)
Elderly Woman… (11)
Given To Fly (11)
Why Go (11)
Yellow Ledbetter (11)
Better Man (9)
Black (9)
Daughter (9)
The Real Me (9)
Corduroy (8)
Severed Hand (8)
Save You (7)
Brother (5)
Crazy Mary (5)
Dissident (5)
Down (5)
Go (5)
Life Wasted (5)
Not For You (5)
Porch (5)
Present Tense (5)
Supersonic (5)
Unthought Known (5)
All Night (4)
Amongst The Waves (4)
Hail, Hail (4)
In My Tree (4)
Inside Job (4)
Insignificance (4)
Johnny Guitar (4)
Last Exit (4)
Love Reign O’er Me (4)
Low Light (4)
Rearviewmirror (4)
Spin The Black Circle (4)
The End (4)
Unemployable (4)
Wasted Reprise (4)
Animal (3)
Bee Girl (3)
Comatose (3)
Faithfull (3)
Grievance (3)
I Am Mine (3)
In Hiding (3)
Indifference (3)
Just Breathe (3)
Light Years (3)
Long Road (3)
Lukin (3)
MFC (3)
Off He Goes (3)
Rats (3)
Rockin´ In The Free World (3)
Sad (3)
State Of Love And Trust (3)
1/2 Full (2)
Blood (2)
Gods´ Dice (2)
Gone (2)
Gonna See My Friend (2)
Hard to Imagine (2)
I Got Shit (2)
Immortality (2)
No Way (2)
Nothingman (2)
Of The Girl (2)
Red Mosquito (2)
Smile (2)
The Needle and the Damage Done (2)
Whipping (2)
Wishlist (2)
World Wide Suicide (2)
All Along the Watchtower (1)
Brain Of J. (1)
Breakerfall (1)
Breath (1)
Come Back (1)
Footsteps (1)
Fuckin´ Up (1)
Glorified G (1)
Green Disease (1)
I Believe In Miracles (1)
Interstellar Overdrive (1)
Last Kiss (1)
Leash (1)
Leaving Here (1)
Man of the Hour (1)
Marker In The Sand (1)
No More (1)
Nothing As It Seems (1)
Once (1)
Release (1)
Satan´s Bed (1)
Save It For Later (1)
Sleight Of Hand (1)
Soldier of Love (1)
Sometimes (1)
Sonic Reducer (1)
Sugar Mountain (1)
The Golden State (1)
Throw Your Hatred Down (1)
You´ve Got to Hide Your Love Away (1)

Chantix Diary: Day 17

Posted in Chantix Diary with tags , on September 28, 2009 by sethdellinger

Days without smoking: 10

This weekend, I worked dayshift (just Saturday and Sunday).  These were my first dayshifts since quitting smoking, and for some reason, they were especially difficult.  I think it was a combination of my need for coffee during the still-dark early morning drive to work, the vast amount of breakfast foods and coffee smells at work, the crisp quality of morning air, and my own extreme lack of sleep which caused me to have cravings just about as bad as during the first few days after quitting.  This sucks for lots of reasons:

1.  Once you’ve been quit for more than a week, people are less forgiving of your moodiness.

2.  The dayshift at work is made up of mostly adults.  Hence, about twice as many smokers as PM shift.  Lots of temptation, and lots of smoke smell.

3.  I was tired (more on this in a bit), so I needed coffee.  Coffee makes me want to smoke.

4.  I am really tired of sucking on Dum Dums.

But, I clenched my teeth and made it through.  Everything is fine once I’m home.  I still feel what I’ve been calling “time voids” when I’m at home–moments where you feel as though you should be spending 5 minutes doing something other than what you’re doing–but I get little to no physical cravings at home.  I’ve also taken to eating pretzel sticks.  Very effective.

Now, the sleeping:  the pharmacist has OK’d the use of OTC sleep aids.  Too bad they don’t do shit.  They’ll knock me out, sure, but I wake up exactly three hours later.  So Friday night (my alarm being set for 4:30am Saturday morning) I took a sleeping pill at 7pm.  I fell asleep around 8pm.  I woke up promptly at 11pm, and was then up all night until my alarm went off at 4:30am, at which point I got ready for work and left.  I got home around 5pm Saturday, wasn’t tired, took a sleeping pill at 8pm, fell asleep at 9pm, and woke up at midnight.  I was once again up until my alarm went off at 4:30am.  This process was nothing short of torturous.  Finally, last night, my body collapsed of exhaustion and I slept about 11 hours.  I was so tired yesterday afternoon that when I fell asleep, it felt like I was sinking into a coma.

So you can imagine how much my weekend sucked.  It caused a major spike in my irritability factor, so I apologize for anyone I’ve been curt or discourteous to.  This is why you haven’t been seeing nearly as much of me online the past few days.  I’m avoiding contact while I’m cranky.  At this point it’s caused much, much more by the Chantix than it is by the withdrawal.  I’m also experiencing some brand new side-effects which are very annoying but which I won’t go into (don’t worry, it’s not the suicidal thoughts).

And I’m much better today, anyway.  Slept well, ate well.  Finally did the post-smoke cleaning on the apartment: dusted all surfaces so there’s no trace of ashes left, deodorized the carpets, even wiped down some of the walls around areas where I smoked the most.  I’m sure to a non-smoker who’d never been to my apartment before, you can probably still smell a bit of the old smoke smell, sorta like in a hotel room which has been changed from smoking to non-smoking, but it’s gotta be a vast improvement!

Six Picture Sunday, 9/27

Posted in Photography with tags on September 27, 2009 by sethdellinger

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Slackspacer: Why Pearl Jam’s New Album is Unnecessary

Posted in Rant/ Rave with tags , , , on September 25, 2009 by sethdellinger

Hypothetical situation:  one of the most successful rock bands–at a time when rock is the biggest-selling genre out there–decides they actually have too many fans and makes a conscious decision to evolve their music away from the mainstream.  With each subsequent album, they go in a slightly different, unexpected direction, with varying degrees of accessibility.  They shed millions of fans, but those who remain are devout, as their musical tastes just happen to have evolved along the same unexpected lines of the band’s.  Now, what happens when that band, some twenty years into the grand experiment, stops evolving?  Not going backward, per se, but they just stagnate, make the same album twice, and seem to have run out of new things to say?  Well, for starters, most of those faithful fans are going to remain just as faithful, as by this point being a fan of this band is practically a lifestyle choice.  Also, we’re left to deal with Pearl Jam’s completely unnecessary album Backspacer.

It begins promisingly enough.  The opening track, “Gonna See My Friend”, features Eddie Vedder’s signature growl, and is thematically the opposite of the opening track on their previous album.  That song, “Life Wasted”, was an uplifting, life-affirming anthem.  This lead track, however, is a depressed, angry rant.  About what, we can’t be sure.  This turnabout in tone is thrilling because it’s unexpected.  And the song is a fist-pumping rocker, but far from anything new.  The old standby formula of verse-chorus-verse-chorus-breakdown/bridge-chorus which Pearl Jam have used so well in the past just feels forced here.  I’ve worn these shoes before.  The song isn’t bad, but it’s completely unnecessary.

The second track is the standout on the album.  “Got Some” is a musical marvel, as McCready and Gossard layer guitars over each other with ever-increasing intensity, Matt Cameron drives the start-stop-start-stop stutter of the song along until it finds it’s dramatic footing when Jeff Ament pops in a Spy Hunter-esque bass line about halfway through the song, and at that point we know something special really is happening.  Vedder has found a great refrain for the song in “I got some if you need it”, but we’re lucky we can’t understand the rest of the lyrics, because they’re pretty inane (“Precipitation, which side are you on?/ Are you on the rise?”), but they’re still highly sing-able once you know them.  This song feels fresh, new, kinda a little daring.

Third comes “The Fixer”, the first single off the album, and to this listener’s mind, the first true pop song the band has written. And it’s great.  It’s the yin to “Gonna See My Friend”‘s yang.  It’s positive, uplifting, a joyful noise, and highly addictive.  Not new, really.  It’s another list song, and Vedder loves writing list songs (“Wishlist”, “Sometimes”, “Rats”), and he’s good at them.

Then the album takes a downturn.  There is one failed experiment (“Johnny Guitar” bumbles to its unsatisfying conclusion) and lots and lots of rehash.  The songs aren’t bad, exactly.  Just not exciting or compelling, and most are unoriginal.  The quiet, tinkly “Just Breathe” is a nice enough song, but I liked it better the first time, when it was called “Guaranteed” and it was on Vedder’s Into the Wild soundtrack album.  “Just Breathe” also utilizes a string quartet, which displays a shameful lack of creativity, and dare I say, a bit of audience pandering.  The closing track, “The End” (an early fan favorite, and I apologize to the faithful here) is one of the worst Pearl Jam songs ever put to record.  It, too, shamefully uses a string quartet instead of the band conveying the feeling from the instruments they actually play, as well as containing the absolutely most annoying vocal rhythm Vedder has ever contrived, and some of the worst rhymes, too.  Most of it reads like it was written by a fourth grader: “Don’t leave me so cold/ or buried beneath the stones. / I just want to hold on/ and know I’m worth your love.”  Ug.  Is this really where we’re at, Pearl Jam?

And the rest:  “Amongst the Waves” is the second surfing song in two albums.  It’s a shame it’s so sonically pleasant but lyrically inaccessible to me, and I liked it before when it was “Loveboat Captain”, “Gone” and “Marker in the Sand”–songs from previous Pearl Jam albums.

“Unthought Known” is the first Pearl Jam song that comes right out in the open with being pretentious.  I was more comfortable when they were a thinly-veiled pretentious band.  It is also a sonically pleasing song, but I liked it better when it was “Inside Job”.

“Supersonic”, “Speed of Sound” and “Force of Nature” are all regrettably forgettable and, something deep inside me fears, attempts to appeal to the masses and sell records.  I can’t blame them.  Everyone wants a come back.  But I just have to ask:  their last album didn’t sell incredibly well, so if they’re trying to break through to a mainstream audience, why did they make it a second time?

How It Doesn’t Happen

Posted in My Poetry with tags , , on September 25, 2009 by sethdellinger

This is how it doesn’t happen:
you’re on a train from London to Paris
and a woman in red sits down
across from you.  No need for talk,
the distance exactly what you both need
on this fog-chilled morning,
the 70-year-old scent of siege still in the air,
the sunrise damp thick in your overcoat.

This is how it doesn’t happen, how all you do
is offer her a paper-thin wafer of chocolate,
bittersweet as monochrome,
how nothing happens,
how the train churns on to Paris,
how in Paris you leave the compartment,
walk your separate ways,
how the sharp smell of grease is perfect,
how the steam is absolutely perfect.

That is how it doesn’t happen.

Chantix Diary: Day 12

Posted in Chantix Diary with tags on September 24, 2009 by sethdellinger

Cigarettes smoked today: zero

Smoke-free days: 5

I was wrong about one thing.  In my first Chantix diary post, I claimed quitting smoking was going to be harder than quitting drinking.  Wrongo.  With the help of Chantix, this has been a walk in the park.

Not that I’m out of the woods yet–I’ve only been smoke free for 5 days, but I never, ever could have gotten to day 5 this easily without Chantix.  Of course, as you know if you’ve been reading my blogs, it has been hard (mainly from the Chantix side-effects, really), but there were just as many times when I thought to myself, “Wow, this is easy.”  Especially today.  Today I finally found myself doing the famous and much-sought after “forgetting to smoke” aspect of Chantix.  I wasn’t freaking out while driving, which has been one of the hardest times.  At work, I didn’t need to suck a lollipop every twenty minutes to fight the urge to join the smokers outside for a quick breath of stress relief.  I sucked two lollipops all night.  On the way home, I concentrated on the music (the new Pearl Jam, which I am still making up my mind about–review coming soon) and barely realized I wasn’t smoking.  It was bizarre.  There are still plenty of moments, however.  Like right now, sitting at the computer writing this.  I am going nuts for a smoke right now.

In addition, my eating has already slowed down.  I bought a 12-pack of granola bars at the outset of my adventure.  The first two days, it seemed I was eating one constantly.  Now, between yesterday and today, I’ve had only one, and there are still three left in the box, which I have no intention of eating tonight.  The box of Cinnamon Apple Cheerios I’d bought and had been voraciously eating (straight out of the box, with my hands) the first two days now sits ignored and stale by my coffee table.  Frankly, it’s almost a little too good to be true.  The craving I’m experiencing now isn’t even an intense craving, but more like the craving I might have gotten when I went, say, an hour without a cigarette.  Just a little whisper in my brain, not a scream.

I called the pharmacy today and they told me I can take OTC sleep aids on Chantix.  Hopefully that works, because a combination of Valerian Root, Kava Kava, a long hot shower, and three orgasms didn’t even illicit as much as a yawn out of me last night, and if I don’t get real rest soon, I’m just gonna fall apart.  But at least I’m not smoking, and these Chantix side effects are only temporary.  And consider yourselves lucky I don’t tell you about the digestive problems.

I’m continually shocked by the amount of people who are telling me they started taking Chantix, only to stop because of various side effects.  I mean, they got as far as Chantix.  That means they made an appointment with a doctor to quit smoking.  That means they really, kinda sorta at least, want to quit.  They’ve elected to stop the nonsense.  And yet, a few unpleasantires and they’re out.  Back to smoking because their vision got blurry, they got a little sad (hey folks, you get pretty damn sad going cold turkey, too), they got a little constipated (or the opposite), they got a little rash, they had trouble sleeping, etc etc.  The only Chantix side effect that would make me quit taking it is the suicidal thoughts, and I’ve got nothing close to that.  Sigh.  People are weird.

I did some math last night, and assuming I’ve averaged one pack of cigarettes a day for 16 years, I’ve smoked 116,800 cigarettes.  And, in all actuality, I think a better average would be 1.25 packs a day, which would bring my grand total to 146,000 cigarettes.  Sometimes when I think about that number, it seems smaller than I expected.  Other times, it seems astounding, almost impossible.  That is a lot of times to do one thing.  No wonder the habitual nature is so difficult to shake.  A lot of it is deeply ingrained muscle memory.  I pass the Cumberland County Prison on my way to work–I reach for my cigarettes.  I didn’t even know that’s when I normally light my first one, but in the past five days, I’ve learned that I must have.  And when your body and mind instinctively reach for something they’ve done automatically 150,000 times, the urge to follow through with that action is strong indeed.

It’s not just the absence of the action that gets you, either.  It’s a feeling of loss, like you’ve lost a friend, a confidante, a companion who was with you always.  Luckily for me, I’ve experienced this exact kind of grief once before and I knew it was going to happen this time.  It’s still hard, though.  I miss smoking.  I sure did love it.  But knowing in advance how this would feel has made it ten times easier to cope with it (especially the knowledge that it would pass, and sooner rather than later).

My body continues to feel better every day.  Everything I’ve heard about for years is finally happening:  senses of smell and taste are improving, lungs are cleaning themselves out, and just a general sense of wellness has overcome me.

And that’s where I’ll leave you.  I’ll have periodic updates from now on (and definitely I’ll immediately let you know if I slip up).  More timely, brief updates will happen on my Twitter.  if you don’t have Twitter but still wonder how I’m doing, you can see my Twitter updates right here on my blog, on the right hand side about halfway down.  And thank you all so much for all your support, you helped me so much!

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