Archive for June, 2009

I Can Always Disappear

Posted in My Poetry with tags , on June 27, 2009 by sethdellinger

The storm has moved on, and the wind yet
rises, the oaks and dogwoods
let go of the water left idling
on their drooping leaves,
a sudden change of heart,
and the air shudders suddenly blue.

Aaaah, says the wind, and I stop
where I am, put out my arms,
glance upward, allowing
myself to disappear.  It is good
to be here, and not here.

Seth’s Summer Movie Scorecard

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 24, 2009 by sethdellinger

So far:

Wolverine: 3 out of 5

Star Trek: 4 out of 5

Terminator Salvation: 4 out of 5

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian: 4 out of 5

Drag Me to Hell:  5 out of 5

Land of the Lost: 2 out of 5

Year One: 4 out of 5

I’ve Been Asleep For a Long, Long Time

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on June 22, 2009 by sethdellinger

I’m not one to usually post song lyrics on my blog, but occasionally some lyrics come along that not only affect me emotionally, but that are brilliant in such a way that I wish I’d written them as a poem, and I become so all-consumed by said lyrics that I must post them for the world to see.  And so it is with the song "I’ve Been Asleep For a Long, Long Time" by the band Hey Rosetta! (exclamation point is part of their name).  I literally cannot stop listening to this song, and have even taken to reading the printed version occasionally.  So hey, I hope you like it as much as I do.  Also, the song plays a key role on my awesome mix disc, A Reasoned Argument For the Inclusion of Violins in Rock Music, a copy of which can be obtained by giving me your address, stopping by my apartment, or asking to hang out with me.   Page layout and punctuation are mine, and I’ve taken poetic license with the band’s existing repetition:

I’ve Been Asleep For a Long, Long Time
by Tim Baker

I’ve been asleep for a long, long time,
blond hair to brown and brown to white.
My mom is buried beside my dad,
but I was asleep for all of that.

I shut my eyes for a moment’s rest
cause I get so tired.
But what things transpired
while my body slept
and beset my mind?

The schools that we went to have all been closed.
And all of my teachers are dead I suppose.
The songs that we sung have all gone quiet.
What happens below as we sleep at night?

The river’s up,
the reeds are caught
halfway across what never was.
The water rose and swept in slow.

I’ve been asleep for a long, long time,
blonde hair to brown and brown to white.
My mom is buried beside my dad
but I was asleep for all of that.


Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on June 20, 2009 by sethdellinger

Have you guys heard of this “ChaCha” thing?  It is a service where you can–supposedly–text ANY question to chacha (that’s 242242 on your keypad) and get some kind of answer.  See, it isn’t an automated program. Actual humans receive your text and try to answer it (they mainly use the internet, although apparently they do employ a few *experts* for difficult questions.  It costs nothing aside from your normal texting rates, which means for most people, it’s free.  I decided to experiment and see how well this works, and how far you can push it.  All my answers came back within 3 minutes of me sending my question (the answer to the fruit question took about 5 minutes, but in all fairness, it was a pretty ridiculous question). I did not make any of these answers up. Following is an exact trascript of my questions and ChaCha’s answers:

Q: Who directed ‘Sleepy Hollow’?

A:  Tim Burton directed the 1999 version of Sleepy Hollow.  Was that the version you wanted?  Text ‘more’ to ChaCha for another version.

Q:  How do I determine my hat size?

A:  To find bra size first measure for band size.  Keeping the measuring tape parallel with the ground, measure around your bra…

Q: I asked for hat size and you sent me bra size.

A:  Basically, the length of your head determines your hat size.  See the attached link for official hat size chart.

Q:  Why is it so rainy in the northeast this summer?

A:  The weather is crazy all over the place.  I’m starting to think Al Gore is right about global warming.  Something is NOT right.

Q:  In a stable, dry, climate controlled room, what would be the first fruit to go bad, assuming they were all at the peak of ripeness at the outset of the experiment?

A:  Sorry, we don’t understand your question.  It may be ambiguous or need more details.

Q:  What is the best poetry collection in the English language (barring ‘collected’ or ‘selected’ editions)?

A:  Shakespeare has the best poetry in the English language.  (seth’s note: a decent answer, but ignores my stipulation about collections)

Q:  What is more important:  happiness or safety?

A:  It all depends on the individual, but you really can’t be happy unless you’re safe.

Things I Don’t Care About At All

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on June 19, 2009 by sethdellinger

1.  The Real Housewives of New Jersey

2.  Motorcycles

3.  The gender-barrier-crossing, generation-gap-closing capabilities of the Wii.

4.  Diablo Cody

5.  Foie Gras

6.  Jokes abut mullets

7.  Men named Channing

8.  The Kindle

9.  The National Football League

10.  Bob Dylan

11.  Thread count

12.  Oranges

13.  Speidi

14.  Pablo Neruda

15.  That fourth ghostbuster guy in Ghostbusters 2.

16.  Obama backlash

17.  My occasional unibrow

18.  The Snuggie

19.  The Hangover

20.  Oyster crackers

OK, Let’s Get This Over With

Posted in Rant/ Rave with tags , , , , on June 18, 2009 by sethdellinger

Attention: Pearl Jam will almost certainly be playing some shows in PA this fall.  Pearl Jam fans, I implore you to create your own Ticketmaster and LiveNation accounts immediately after reading this blog entry.  I know I’m sounding bitchy here, but I simply cannot be responsible for taking all of you to a Pearl Jam show.  I will notify you when tickets go on sale.  But I simply cannot handle another round of guilt trips from people who “really want to go to a Pearl Jam show” but can’t be bothered to know when it’s happening or to get themselves there.  If you think I am speaking directly to you, you are wrong.  This is a plague in my life.  Literally over a dozen people make me feel like a bad friend every time Pearl Jam tours.  I am not a tour guide, and I am not responsible for your good time, nor can I afford to buy 12 Pearl Jam tickets at once and wait for you to reimburse me on show day.  I’m sorry for the harshness, but you brought it on yourselves.

Staring at Your Dreamcatcher

Posted in My Poetry with tags , on June 17, 2009 by sethdellinger

Yes, things have been breathless before,
or covered with fluids, heaving,
a pinch, a mirrored gasp in the night.
And yes, like everyone else, those whispered
trinkets were meaningful, or meaningless,
our still-socked feet forgotten
dangling at the bottoms of ourselves.

We were never temples, I fear,
but just paintings of temples,
moving, roiling paintings of temples
aping the way we ought to be,
dismissing the afterward-tears in the bathroom
as some form of excess sweat,
never minding the loud flush of the commode
in a house with no television on.

Always later the clothes, one-by-one,
because we are cold, or we don’t like each other,
and you have lost one sock,
and your underwear are inside-out,
and my belly like a kaiser roll.
Finally the television comes on,
we smoke cigarettes,
I suggest a game of Trivial Pursuit.


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